Two worlds

There's the world up top and the world outside. What I mean is, behind the eyes there's the suspicion that I'm capable of doing anything I want, that only humble obstacles stand in my way. Outside the skin there's the reality that everything back inside is ticking and tumbling down in a very much not-endless slide. The batteries will run down, the engine will grind to a halt, and the lights behind the eyes will go out.

I don't have enough time to do it all. I can do anything, but I only have enough time to do some things.

How on Earth do I even begin to decide what's worth my time?

I suppose I should start with what brings me fulfillment. So that's my task for now: figure out what fulfills me. Perhaps I should set a deadline. Say, by the end of the year? That's a good chunk of time for me to paw through my memories and build a solid set of new experiences. In that time I'd like to lay out a foundation for the things I already find fulfilling, as well as a set of options for discovering new things.

If at the end of the year I decide that I have not had enough time, I will give myself a little more. But alas, things like grad school will not shape themselves to my own schedules. One must be accommodating of the "real" world.